The Ferocious Krutchians ("Les Féroces Kroutchiens" in French) is the fourth episode of Kaput & Zösky: The Ultimate Obliterators.
Plot Synopsis[]
Kaput and Zösky attempt to rule over a group of school children and their strict teacher.
Transcript[]
| (Opening and title card; open to Kaput and Zösky's ship flying towards Planet Krutch) | |
| Zösky: | (Laughs) There's Krutch! Be afraid, Krutchians, be very afraid, 'cause here come your new masters! (Turns to Kaput) And this time give me a chance to cook up the plan, will you? |
| Kaput: | Fine. As long as I get to cook up a few Krutchians! |
| Zösky: | Easy, big fella; Krutchians are bloodthirsty warriors. This calls for ruthlessness, cunning and finesse. And perhaps a bit of luck. |
| (The ship lands on Krutch; a crowd of Krutchians gather around) | |
| Krutchian: | I don't believe it, get a load of this ship! |
| Other Krutchian: | Woah, yeah! It's the best! |
| Zösky: | Good day my Krutchian friends! |
| Kaput: | Haha! (Waves crisperizer) You maggots! I'm gonna destroy you! |
| (Krutchians begin screaming and running away) | |
| Kaput: | Squish you! Kick your butts! Haha! |
| (Kaput and Zösky get out of the ship) | |
| Zösky: | (Turns to Kaput, hands on hips, looking unamused) |
| Kaput: | Okay, so what's the plan? |
| Kaput and Zösky: | (Both yelp as a hand from offscreen snatches Kaput's crisperizer from him) |
| Teacher: | How many times do I have to tell you? Toys are not allowed on school grounds! (Picks up spaceship and throws it over the wall) |
| Kaput and Zösky: | (Both gasp) |
| Kaput: | Hey, are you out of your mind?! (To Zösky:) Who does she think she is? (Approaches teacher) Why I oughta... (kicks her in the leg; nothing happens) Grovel before your new master! (The teacher doesn't respond) (Turns to Zösky) What's she looking at me like that for? |
| Zösky: | (Shrugs) |
| Teacher: | (Scene changes, the teacher is writing on a chalkboard) Now class, copy these exercises into your notebooks. And do it quietly, please. |
| (The Krutchian children begin writing in their notebooks; Kaput and Zösky are standing in the corner. Kaput is wearing a dunce cap) | |
| Zösky: | No, really, it looks good on you. |
| Kaput: | I'll get her for this. Gimmie your weapon, I need a little mayhem and destruction to calm my nerves! |
| Zösky: | Confiscated. We kill no one. We just get out of here! |
| Kaput and Zösky: | (Turn to look at the teacher; she's facing the chalkboard) (Begin to sneak away to the door) |
| Tough Krutchian child: | (Looks behind him suspiciously) Miss! The new kids are leaving! |
| Teacher: | (Approaches Kaput and Zösky, who freeze in their tracks) (Taps pointer against her hand, eyes narrowing) |
| (The Krutchian kids begin to chatter) | |
| Kaput and Zösky: | (Reluctantly hold out a hand each; the teacher whacks them with her pointer) |
| Zösky: | Gyah! Ouch! (Holding injured hand) |
| Kaput: | (Crying in pain:) Owie! |
| (Scene change; the tough Krutchian kid looks over to the corner and sniggers as Kaput and Zösky both stand facing the wall with dunce caps on) | |
| Kaput: | (Mockingly:) No, really, it looks good on you, too. |
| (School bell chimes; the class runs out into the schoolyard) | |
| Zösky: | What a dump. We've got to get out of here, but we're going to need some help. This time let's try and play it a bit more diplomatic, shall we? |
| Kaput: | You got it! |
| Kaput and Zösky: | (Approach a Krutchian kid playing marbles) |
| Kaput: | (A marble rolls to his feet) Hey, pipsqueaks! Move your butts and give us a boost! And make it snappy or I'll exterminate ya! |
| Tough Krutchian kid: | And who are you to give orders, runt? I'm the boss here. |
| Zösky: | (Laughs nervously) Hey there, brave Krutchian! My friend here begs your pardon if he crossed the line. |
| Kaput: | (Looks unamused) What are you talking about? |
| Tough kid: | I challenge you to a duel. If you win, you're the boss. If you lose, you carry my books. |
| Kaput: | Yeah right, you wish. I'm gonna splatter your atoms across the universe! |
| Zösky: | Eheh, Kaput? I think we should try and talk our way out of this one. |
| Tough kid: | Okay, saddle up! (Jumps upon the back of a larger Krutchian kid) |
| Kaput: | Yessiree, saddle up! (Jumps on Zösky's back) |
| Zösky: | Hey! But-- |
| Tough kid: | Go! Go go go go! Go! Charge! |
| Large kid: | (Panting; charges towards Kaput and Zösky) |
| Zösky: | (Freezes; covers eyes) Mother! |
| (The large kid bowls the two right over; the Krutchian kids cheer) | |
| Kaput: | (Wearily:) Zösky? |
| Zösky: | (Hurt:) I'm not talking to you. |
| (Scene changes; Zösky approaches the Krutchian kids) | |
| Zösky: | This time, it's our turn to choose the test! (Whispers to Kaput:) Remember how you impressed the waitress in that bar on Uranus? |
| Kaput: | You bet! (Regards Krutchians) Okay! Let's see who can...pee the farthest! |
| (Krutchians exchange looks) (Scene cuts; Kaput and a Krutchian are standing side-by-side) | |
| Krutchian kid: | Ready, and...start peeing! |
| (Kaput and the tough kid are equal; Kaput grunts in exertion and takes the lead) | |
| Krutchian kid: | Wow! Cool, Kaput! |
| Other kid: | Yeah, you are the man! |
| (The tough kid looks defeated; Kaput gives him a smug look) | |
| Zösky: | Way to go, buddy! |
| Krutchians: | (Cheer and carry Kaput away, leaving the tough kid behind) |
| (The kids form a tower; Kaput is at the top, struggling to get over the wall) (The tower of kids (including Zösky) all groan with exertion) | |
| Zösky: | (Hoisting up Kaput's feet) Hang in there, guys! We're almost over! |
| (The teacher walks into the yard and, upon seeing the tower, blows a whistle; Kaput is startled and jumps out of Zösky's grip into a nearby tree) (The tower collapses) | |
| Kaput: | (Dangling on a branch) Hey, hey, hey! |
| Zösky: | Hang on, hang on, hang on! |
| (Kaput drops; there's a loud thud) (Scene changes to back in the classroom) | |
| Teacher: | Alright, that's all for today. Class dismissed. (Shuts book) |
| (The Krutchian kids cheer and run outside) | |
| Teacher: | (Turns to Kaput and Zösky, who are back to staring at the wall wearing dunce caps) (She escorts them outside and shuts the gate hard behind them, causing them to exclaim briefly) |
| Kaput: | (Approaches ship alongside Zösky; pulls out crisperizer) Let's fry the old hag! |
| Zösky: | Absolutely not! (Grabs Kaput's crisperizer) Let's just get out of here! |
| (Ship flies off back towards the cosmos) | |
| Kaput: | I could have corrected her, the Kaput way! And then proved, once and for all, you know, in my own way, that two plus two equals five! |
| Zösky: | And if you'd missed your shot, we'd both have detentions for a year! No, thank you. And, anyway, two plus two equals four. |
| Kaput: | Oh yeah? Well, when I'm boss, it'll equal five. |
| Zösky: | Four. |
| Kaput: | Four and a half? |
| Zösky: | Four. |
| Kaput: | Four and a quarter? |
| Zösky: | Nope. |
| Kaput: | Okay, four and an eighth, and that's my final offer. |
| (Credits) |
Characters[]
Gallery[]
Krutchian sky
Planet Krutch
Wall and ground
